There was a day when it all seemed too hard to carry. The weight of it all crashing down in the short span of 24 hours. The tears wouldn’t stop, the self-deprivation running over and over in my mind.. “ I am fucked up, what on earth did I do in life to end up like this, what is wrong with me..” WHY WHY WHY?
Living with this overwhelming feeling of starting down a path of self-discovery, but only 25 years late in the game…(God, I am so glad to have amazing therapists in my life!) To come from a life where every little thing was so critiqued, and a different choice was considered a mistake, and a mistake meant you weren’t living a perfect life…and you can see how this road goes: it will/could drive a person to complete insanity. To hear “you’re not a mess, you’re not fucked up, not only that what you are experiencing in life is completely normal”.. that brought so much relief, yet at the same time a flood of overwhelming emotions as I considered the normalcy that was robbed from my childhood and of many in my generation. So, today (thank God) as I am living my life and experiencing all of life’s emotions, accepting the ups and downs,(realizing that most would experience this all during adolescence), and through it all embracing my story with zero shame…. I want to say this:
My friends: Please be soft with yourself. Allow yourself the space to grow, experience life like we all should have the opportunity to do so. Find passion. Make the mistakes, those are life lessons. Open your heart and mind to new perspective. Understand every single path will look different. We all grow and heal differently- have grace to allow this for all!
Cheers to life’s many adventures, and the wonderful people along the way!